Saturday I didn’t stay within my 0-5 boundaries. I pretty much did what I wanted, I lived on my terms. On Sunday morning I woke up early to get ready for church and I was crabby. I mean, get out of my way and leave me alone crabby. As I was brushing my hair and trying to pull it back for the fifth time I suddenly heard this hateful voice.
“You’re so ugly! I can’t believe you, you’re pathetic, a grown woman and you can’t even get your hair to look half-way decent! None of your friends have this problem, I mean, have you seen the selfies on facebook? They all look amazing…all the time. There’s a reason you don’t post pictures like that, it’s because you look awful!”
I stopped and realized that was MY voice I was hearing. It wasn’t audible, it was in my head, in my heart and it was so disgusting. Why was I saying this? What’s my problem!?
I was angry. Very angry with myself for having messed up the day before. And now I was taking it out on myself by being mean and hateful. Instead of building myself up, I was tearing myself down. Instead of believing that this slip-up wasn’t fatal and moving on, I was acting like I had undone everything God had been doing in me.
If I were to stop for a moment and imagine Jesus talking with me about what had happened on Saturday, do I think for one second that He would’ve said to me what I was saying to myself? No. So why did I think it was ok for me to talk that way?
In the Thin Within workbook, they give a definition of honor, fittingly, I read it Sunday after my little talk. It says to honor is to: “manifest the highest respect and reverence for, in words and actions, to entertain the most exalted thoughts of”. Now, let’s put that in perspective with 1 Corinthians 6:20
“you were bought at a price. Therefore honor (manifest the highest respect and reverence for, in words and actions, entertain the most exalted thoughts of) God with your bodies.”
I believe that honoring God with our bodies, means honoring our bodies. I believe God does not want us having negative and hateful self-talk. I say this because of what Ephesians 4:29 says,
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Everything that comes out of our mouths originates in our minds and hearts, so I think it’s safe to say that this verse applies to the spoken and unspoken word. We must watch how we talk to and think about ourselves.
The next time you catch yourself thinking or saying something about yourself, ask if it falls into Ephesians 4:29 criteria –
1 – Is it wholesome? (conducive to or suggestive of good health and well-being)
2 – Does it build you up?
3 – Does it benefit you? (Does it encourage you and spur you on in Christ?)
If you can’t say yes to all three of these, then I would say you need a conversation with God and ask if these are His thoughts toward you. And if it’s not what HE thinks about you then it’s not what YOU should think about you!
Come back tomorrow and I’ll share some tools you can use for the negative talk battle.